eHarmony
Every time I see an eHarmony commercial, I sigh in exasperation.
I joined eHarmony 3.5 years ago. I’d never used a formal online dating service, but I’d tried my hand at meeting people online. The problem with meeting people online is that too often they are dishonest. This really isn’t a function of dating online, it’s just a function of the nature of humanity. I know that sounds cynical.
Anyway, after joining 3.5 years ago, I had my share of “matches.” I talked to a number of matches in my first few months, but the number of matches that I was interested in (and were interested in me in turn) were significantly less in the following years. I might have talked to 3-4 people each year for a couple of weeks before deciding that the relationship was not destined to survive long term, for various reasons.
Now, if you don’t know anything about the eHarmony matching process, I’ll give you a quickstart introduction. You fill out a 400 (?) question form designed to identify your personality type. You get a personality profile. You sign up for the matching service. You get a match. Then you proceed through a “guided communication process,” which starts with pre-designed questions and multiple choice answers (phase 1 communication). Phase 2 involves sharing a list of things that you must have in a relationship, and a list of things you cannot stand in a relationship. If both parties continue to be interested in communicating, then phase 3 involves a more open question and answer phase, usually with the questions being taken from a pre-defined list of questions, but the answers are written by the respondent. If you like everything you’ve read so far, then you move to open communication, which is conversing via email on the website.
So, as you can see, that’s fairly involved. I really like the fact that the entire process is designed to get you to know the other person before you meet in person. Most dating websites gives you a very little help in breaking the ice or getting to know your potential partner. Most websites also cater to people who are only interested in dating, and I’d decided about 3 years ago that I really was tired of dating women. I was ready for something serious.
So, back to the first sentence. I (and my Girlfriend) get exasperated watching commercials from eHarmony because it took us just over 3 years to meet each other. You see, she also started her eHarmony account 3 years ago. Yet, despite the fact that both she and I were members, we were never matched.
What’s up with that?
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This is a post loaded with good questions. Why are people dishonest? Because they fear rejection. no one likes to be rejected and let’s face it, I haven’t dated in a while (Seul won’t let me
) but I’m fairly certain MOST people are as superficial now as they were then. No one wants to say they’re imperfect because they know it lessens the chances at happiness even if the happiness they get by lying is in fact imperfect. As for why you had to wait three years to meet, fate my friends, just let it rest at that 